Greetings and welcome to the safe and nice city of Mediocrity where challenge and honesty are illegal, and we celebrate the power of safe niceness. There are no threats here, no troubles born of confrontation or challenge.

Please conduct yourself in a pleasant, non-threatening manner during your visit to our city. Please do not display any positive or negative extremes of emotion. If you must criticise anything please do so in a calm, diluted way and deliver your views in a non-challenging manner.

Have a “nice” time in our city!

Remember our motto: Equality is ultimately based on mediocrity

And whatever you do, don’t say what you really think!